The Essence of Being Alone

Current mood:discontent

es·sence

–noun

the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing or its significant individual feature or features; "philosophy" the inward nature, true substance, or constitution of anything, as opposed to what is accidental, phenomenal, illusory, etc.; something that exists, esp. a spiritual or immaterial entity.

FOR ME:

When people talk about being "alone" it is usually refereed to the male/female companion they crave.  I'm not alone in that genre...  Although, I'm coming to terms (after 14 months) of the actuality of being alone.  I'm grasping the fact that I don't really NEED a "companion" right now.  The part I'm lacking at the moment is those great friends that know me so very well.  When I was younger I moved A LOT...  I changed friends quite often.  The 7 or 8 years previous to moving to Austin, I had actually managed to stay put.  Although I was always meeting new people, I had my close net of friends.  The ones that knew me when:

When my father died, when I totaled my truck at lunch, when I went to college for the first time, when I left college for the first time ;-D, when I would party in my dorm room, when I was scared shitless of birds (all sizes), when my mother was in the hospital, when I fell in love, when my heart was shattered, when I lived by myself and how it really did HURT...

With all of the new and exciting things that are happening in my life, I find myself craving, desiring, NEEDING something "old"  I miss the ones who have always meant the most...